Freefalling Without a Net!

I knew something didn't feel right this morning. Last night I was up until around 5:00 AM knowing I'd have to work overtime to see that Carmella gets the help she needs. I couldn't sleep, knowing that that "thing" was eating away at her white matter each day she goes without the shot of NDV into the spinal canal. Not hearing from Dr. Norwood Friday and not hearing back yesterday had me fearing the worst.

It seemed as though the receptionists weren't rushing to have him call me back and were just nonchallantly telling me they'd "give him the message". I had the surreal feeling that I was the only one in the world who understood how urgent this was becoming. The vet's office seemed to be operating as if it were just another routine day, and something about that seemed very odd and left me with an uneasy feeling.

I told Gwen, the office manager that the e-mail address they'd given me the other day was coming back undeliverable, and read it to her off the card, and she told me that someone had put a dot where there shouldn't have been one. I changed it, and told her to please have Dr. Norwood call me because Carmella needed to get in to UGA as soon as possible now that she was worse. She reiterated that she'd "give him the message", and it felt more like a brush-off than a promise. I was not holding my breath.

Wondering if I was crazy (but for only about 30 seconds) her seeming lack of concern was incongruent with the current circumstance. No, of course I'm not crazy, I thought, snapping back to reality! This is like a nightmare... only it's real. All too real, and there's no waking up and saying, "Phew, I'm glad this isn't really happening and Carmella's here safe and sound, just a bad dream". I've read the biochemistry, seen the symptoms worsening with my own eyes, and so has Dr. Norwood. It would be all too convenient to write this off as my being an hysterical dog owner worried about nothing. That was last week's tactic, but it didn't fly then and it doesn't now in the face of even more obvious disease-progression. No, that would be the chicken's way out for the Dr. Do-Nothings of the world. Something was up surely as fish rots and leaves a tell-tale stench.

After returning from the Post Office and buying a few things at the grocery store, I just wanted to go home. I passed up most of my shopping list because I just didn't feel much like eating...ever again. Carmella's restlessness seemed to rub off on me and I just couldn't feel OK no matter what I did, like having a bee stuck inside your pants leg, unable to get it out. I think I would have enjoyed the trip out more if a friend had been there with me, but the solitude only intensified my sense of being alone with what seemed like an insurmountable problem.

The paratransit van came late to pick me up and I made a mental note that I was right to have forgone the ice cream, as a woman with blotched arms with a metal folding cart approached the driver as I boarded the vehicle and asked if she would please let her ride with her because her ice cream was melting. Her liftvan was late too, and the driver muttered something under her breath about not helping her if she was going to curse her out, not meant for her to hear. The other passenger was not cursing her out or even raising her voice, just merely saying that they needed to take it into consideration when people go to the grocery store and have no other transportation that they need to pick them up on time so food won't go to waste. It sounded like a legitimate gripe to me. The driver apologized to her and told her she couldn't, that she had to take me home and then pick up someone else right after. The woman with the folding cart was not happy when told it would be 15-20 more minutes she'd have to wait for her scheduled vehicle to get to her. I am very aware of these problems, as I belong to an organization that is trying to improve Atlanta's transit system for people with disabilities (but that story will have to wait for another day).

I returned home and let Carmella out into the back yard. She was enjoying the sun and chewing on sticks and pine cones as usual. It got pretty hot out there and as she ran around she started panting with a long tongue in proportion to her rather short snout. She looked rather comical, so I decided to go get the camera and take some more pictures. Here she is viciously attacking a weed.

As I wasn't fully satisfied with the pictures I'd taken of my last three pairs of new earrings, I took more of those too, perching them on branches and leaves, and on the pinestraw, making use of the bright sunlight.

Carmella was ready to come inside in about an hour, starting to jerk even standing on her feet, and so I took some more pictures of her in the livingroom and bedroom while she rested and got some really great perspectives. Then as I was editing a really good one, the phone rang. It was the male vet tech, Arudis, from Dr. Norwood's office. I hoped he was calling to tell me that UGA wanted Carmella to come in, but from the sound of his voice I could tell the news was not good.

"Dr. Norwood wanted me to call and tell you that UGA said they won't do it."

I felt like an hourglass with sand leaking out of a hole in the bottom. I tried my best to plug it up and keep the sand from escaping, but it seemed inevitable. "Oh no! What did they say? Why?"

"I don't know. Dr. Norwood didn't tell me. He just said they told him no. He left early but asked me to call you. He can tell you the details when he gets back tomorrow. You can call him and talk further."

"Will he be in all day?"

"Yes."

"I've been really worried about Carmella over the weekend because her jerking is still getting worse. Now what are we going to do?"

"I don't know. You'll have to talk to him about that."

I had fleeting images in my head of a dead dog in the road with cars driving by. His demeanor, like Gwen's, was a little too nonchallant. He seemed disconnected as though he felt nothing at all about the news.

No sooner had I gotten off the phone and gone back to editing the current picture of Carmella, I burst into tears. Her face seemed to stare back at me, pleading for help. I couldn't bear to look at it anymore, so I turned off Photoshop for the time being.

This horrible verdict had been handed down just as casually as if I'd been told that fries at McDonalds were a dollar forty-nine. I wondered why Dr. Norwood couldn't have called me himself.

I wrote Dr. Sears to tell him, and then decided to write Dr. Brantly. I remembered that he had said that if she'd been worse he would have done it. Well, now she is. In my e-mail I begged him to do the procedure, explained that there was only one more vet I knew of to ask and he hadn't responded. I asked what it would take for him to do this, and asked if he could arrange to get the dog-based serum from the vet he knew was using it in the body of dogs in Alabama. I told him I didn't know who else to turn to. Everyone I'd asked had said no and was just standing there while my dog got worse and worse. Carmella was in the kitchen in her bed having tremors and jerking, and again I worried that she might have a full-blown seizure.

My head was starting to hurt so I couldn't stay on the computer much longer. I must have cried for about 3 hours straight and so I took something for the headache and went to lie down hoping I'd either fall asleep or find something on TV to distract myself from the agony that had descended upon me like a heavy blanket.

I called my best friend and told her what had happened. She agreed that Dr. Brantly was worth a try since he had almost agreed to it in the beginning, and she and I brainstormed some ideas about what to do next. Tomorrow I'll call his office and see if I can get him to listen and re-evaluate the situation given Carmella's worsened condition.

Later, I took Carmella out of the kitchen to spend some time with her. I sat on the floor of the computer room to pet her and she started chewing on me again. The more I observed her behavior the more it appeared as if her reaction to being near me was an issue of overstimulation because when I tried to hold her mouth closed to keep her from poking holes in my skin and tried to hold her still, the more she struggled. Some puppies would have eventually stopped and just curled up in my lap, but she seemed to struggle almost as if her life was in danger. She really went berserk! This makes me wonder if her nerve endings are oversensitized due to demyelination. If my hand is anywhere near her, especially her face she seems to have a compulsion to gnaw on it, not aggressively, but defensively. I can hardly ever pet her anymore without her doing this. She also gets more riled up when I say, "No!" to get her to stop biting on me. She has sort of a startle reaction, not fear, but as if she can't stand the intensity of the voice or touch when I hold her away from me to keep her from chomping down or even trying to hold her on my lap. Ignoring her doesn't work so well either, or putting my hands behind my back. She'll try to pinch some flesh on my upper arm if she can't get my hands, feet, or pants leg. Bribing her with a dog treat to sit and lie down only works the first 2 times if at all when she's like this and then she takes a run at me again. I used to train dogs when I worked for a dog breeder, so most of these tactics I've mentioned work on other dogs, but so far the only thing that works (only sometimes) is to pretend to be another dog and put her on her back and pin her down by the neck briefly. This doesn't hurt the dog, but is often a last resort when nothing else will work. Sometimes I have to do this 3 times to get her to stop. Sometimes she stops completely and other times just pauses, then tries again. Wolves pin others in the pack down by the neck to establish dominance with other wolves and dogs do it during play with other dogs. The fact that this last method doesn't always keep her stopped makes me think that she might have problems with her short-term memory and possibly also impulse-control.

Sometimes the only thing I can do is put her by herself to get her to calm down. If she takes a nap she wakes up in a calmer state of mind and will come over and lick me under the chin (which is a submissive gesture), or she'll sit in my lap and allow me to snuggle her.

Earlier today she chewed two good-sized holes in my blue blanket. Luckily that one was not expensive, but I really have to watch her if I let her lie on my bed so she doesn't try to chew the thick comforter underneath.

Last night a very helpful Etsy seller suggested putting a donation widget on my blog, so I got that set up. If you can't buy jewelry but would still like to do something to help with Carmella's medical expenses there is now a way to do that on this blog through my paypal account! Go to the box to your right in the sidebar that says "Please Donate to Carmella" and click the little box where it says "Make" below. The little Paypal logo is not showing up but it should still work. I got the bill today from Care Credit and boy is it a whopper! The sooner I get that paid off the better. Your help is much appreciated. Carmella and I thank you!

http://Giftbearer.etsy.com/

Will He Or Won't He...He Won't

I called Dr. Norwood's office around 1:00 PM and asked whether I could make an appointment for Carmella to have her worming shot and check on the Zithromax. It was one of the older black twin receptionists who answered the phone.

"Carmella made it through the weekend!" I reported into the receiver.

"That's great!" came the response on the other end.

I made the appointment and then they connected me to the vet tech who told me the Zithromax had come in. He avoided my question about Dr. Johnson's answer, then transferred me back to the receptionist again. This time if was Felicia, the younger white woman with brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. She sounded particularly bouncy today, uncharacteristically so, but I figured that maybe something good had just happened in her life on this particular day.

Later when I arrived at the vet's office omething seemed different. Felicia, the receptionist who had never been very warm before suddenly greeted me with a big smile, and for some reason the whole office seemed to be behaving like a restaurant on the day of their inspection by the Health Department. For a moment I wondered if I was imagining it or if it was real.

A tall, black drug rep dressed in a dark grey suit was making conversation with the receptionists behind the counter about a drug for arthritis. I found myself wondering whether that was the company that manufactured Baytril or some other rival medication. He looked over to where I sat with Carmella resting on my lap and smiled briefly, then turned and went back to his sales pitch to the receptionists.

When I was called back Carmella almost ran to jump on another dog down the hall before turning left into the room. The vet tech pulled the leash in that direction and closed the door behind us.

I said, "Look at how lively she is! She's really come back to life!" His mouth did not move to smile and it seemed almost as though he were willing it not to. Then I knew something was definitely up. I wondered why everybody was not jumping up and down with amazement; only this canned version of happiness. It began to make me question my sanity. Was I the only one seeing how good Carmella looked, or was this indicative of something else?

I felt as though I was scrambling to figure out what to say next. Carmella pulled on the leash some more, scratched at the carpet and promptly peed. I apologized and said that she must be nervous or something. The vet tech, said, "Oh, that's alright, don't worry about it".

Then he made some comment about that even though Carmella looks much better they still had to follow protocol because "it never goes away". I asked him what he meant by that. She'd been in there for several weeks every few days and they'd never mentioned it before. I asked if he meant the protocol she was on for her treatment, and he said, "No, we have to wear special suits so other dogs won't get infected". It looked to me as if he wore the same uniform he always had, basically what amounted to royal blue scrubs. He was not wearing a mask or anything of that nature and the shirt was short-sleeved. It didn't appear as though it were made of special impermiable or waterproof material. I wondered if he were joking, but he didn't seem to be when I looked at his expression. Then I wondered if the office got freaked out about the neuro symptoms which had developed over the weekend. They must not have known that now it could only be transmitted via the tear ducts, so unless a dog licked her eye or her eye touched his outfit which touched another dog's eye or mouth it was pretty unlikely.

"She should be cured once she gets the other part for the neuro symptoms", I responded, to which he said, "I'll have Dr. Norwood come in and talk to you about that." Still he was not jumping up and down with joy and not smiling, so I figured it must be bad news.

Dr. Norwood came in shortly, the vet tech by his side, leaned on the table with his chart and said, "Well Dr. Johnson got back to me today and it's looking almost for sure that he's not gonna do it."

I felt cold air hit my face as though a draft had suddenly come into the tiny closed exam room. Carmella seemed to bounce nervously around like a ping-pong ball picking up on the vibes.

The vet tech didn't leave the room, but instead stood by the door with arms crossed like a sentinel. I looked over and smiled as if to say, OK, I'd humor him on this dramatic scene, but really, all this wasn't necessary. Something was getting really wierd in there. I'd seen human doctors do this every once in awhile when they wanted a wittness because they were afraid they'd get sued. I wondered why Dr. Norwood would even think that I would be considering such a thing. He had done the treatment for the body and as far as I could tell it was a success. Whatever Dr. Johnson did or failed to do had nothing to do with him or the treatment he'd given Carmella. I wondered what the hell that man said to him that had him and the whole staff on edge.

Dr. Norwood went on to say that Dr. Johnson was offended by some of Daveyo's anti-vet comments in his written instructions, and that he was too at first, but that he wasn't now, but that that could have contributed to why Dr. Johnson did not want to treat Carmella although he didn't think it was the primary reason. I said that yes, he could come on kind of strong at times but I think it was because of what happened to his own dogs before they got the treatment they needed, and that he was a researcher; not a vet, and from my experience alot of them are like that. I said you just have to seperate that from the science and take the demeanor with a grain of salt. I told him if I'd let that stop me I would be dead myself, as the man who saved my life wasn't what one would think of as a benevolent person, "in fact to be honest the guy was a stone jerk", but if I wanted to survive I resolved to ignore that and look at the protocol on it's own merits. We can't always choose the messenger, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. The important thing here was to help Carmella and if the treatment works it works, and no interpersonal issues could change scientific facts.

"It seemed to be mostly the lack of journal articles about it that's holding him back", he went on. "Also, he said that it's really never done, putting anything into the Central Nervous System. He said the dog would almost surely go into shock. We were running fluids on her when we treated the rest of her body and she didn't even flinch, but putting stuff directly into the spinal canal like that could be much more likely to cause shock." I wondered why that would be unmanageable for someone with his expertise, as he would have at least as many anti-shock precautions at his disposal in an expensive specialty clinic.

"Just look at how much better she is", I said. "Is he going to let her die of neuro symptoms after all this? Just letting her go would be a waste of a perfectly good dog when it's not necessary. There's something he can do, he's got the skills and he's just choosing not to do it. I wondered if he thought a slow, agonizing death from eventual paralysis and/or seizures was better than the slight chance of death on the table. My son was looking into having brain surgery last summer for a benign brain tumor that caused debilitating seizures but they did not refuse to do it because there was some risk involved. They figured the benefit was worth the risk because it was interfereing with his ability to support himself. By the same token, Carmella has really nothing to lose by undergoing this procedure because the only alternative is a sure death, and judging by how she'd come through everything else with flying colors, there is reason to believe she would survive this too and even recover completely. If they'd give a person that chance, why not a dog?

One of the other people in a forum I post in about this treatment was not so lucky. Her dog died the other night in the Phillipines, and it was really because the vets involved refused to follow the instructions. Because her current vet was in a remote area and there were no neuro vets accessible her vet had to attempt the procedure on her own having never done a spinal tap in her life. She pushed the needle too far and hit the chord. Had there been a neuro vet available to offer his services her dog would probably be alive and recovering now.

This reminds me of before abortion was legalized and women had to obtain it on the black market, often not under the best conditions or by qualified practitioners.

Experienced neuro vets really need to start making themselves available so that this doesn't happen to any more dogs.

I went home from Carmella's appointment feeling dazed. None of the other names on the list I called today had panned out, but the only thing I came up with was a possible vet at a place called Loving Touch, and the possibility that Auburn or UT veterinary school might have someone willing and able to do the rest of Carmella's treatment. I'm hoping I don't have to go out of town to find somebody qualified. There must be someone in all of Atlanta.

Tomorrow back to the drawing board.

Where the Rubber Meets the Road; Will He or Won't He?

That still remains the million dollar question. With the developments of the past few days I figured I better have a plan in case Carmella started getting significantly worse over the weekend. Dr. Norwood was there until 12:00 yesterday but there were power outages that slowed up an already busy day. There was a french bulldog with a pink harness looking google-eyed and tired, a woman with a miniature poodle, a family with a tiny Chihuaua puppy, an American Staffordshire, and a giant brindle Cain Corso (sp?) that looks like a huge mastiff with a head bigger than mine and only 9 months old waiting in the waiting room between 10:00 and 12:00. I was glad to have left Carmella at home as there was barely enough room for everybody.

At the end of the half-day I went in to speak with Dr. Norwood about Carmella's neuro symptoms and he seemed concerned but a sort of helplessness seemed to be seeping into his consciousness rather than the new urgency spurring him to leap into action, but a slow drain as though he were an hourglass with the bottom cut out and sand was escaping willy-nilly and out of control. I asked if he'd gotten my messages the day before and he said yes, but it appeared he only got the part about Carmella needing her antibiotics. They still had not been delivered at his office yet. As far as the neuro symptoms, it did not look like he was aware of that from the look on his face until that moment. He looked suddenly as though he might faint when I described the jerking/tremors she was having. Clearly he knew that time was ticking and that we may not have much more time before it became an emergency.

I asked him to please call Dr. Johnson and tell him so that maybe he could get on this early in the week, and he meekly said "Well, I can't make him do it", squirming perceptibly. He seemed intimidated by the man. He said he'd call him on Monday and "ask him what he wants to do", as though his opinion was insignificant to a man of that stature. Board certified or not, he's still a man, and human-I hope. Carmella's life had to be worth the uncomfortableness of asserting himself, and if Dr. Johnson was going to take offense to that well then maybe he was not the right one for the job. After all, Dr. Norwood is the treating physician and so why wouldn't he have a personal interest in Carmella's recovery? I stated that he needed to impress upon him that every day he waits that virus grows in Carmella's brain and her chances of a full recovery without permanent damage get slimmer. Dr. Norwood nodded but looked almost embarrassed as though he were standing before God himself and didn't want to appear irreverent in any way to this doctor he felt outranked him.

There comes a time when one must risk being unpopular in order to do the right thing and if there was any time Carmella and I needed him to advocate for her very life with every ounce of courage he had in him it was then.

It made me sad and enraged at the same time that this specialist held the power of life and death over this defenseless puppy just because he could, and that the one man who might have some influence with him was starting to visibly cave.

We concluded that if an emergency should happen and her neurological symptoms got worse I should take her over there where Dr. Johnson works instead of the Dekalb Emergency Vet Clinic because with this one being a facility for specialists it was likely Dr. Johnson would be on call even if he was not there.

Dr. Norwood suggested also trying a holistic vet's office that is known to be made up of all women who practice both traditional medicine and holistic methods, thinking they might be more open-minded than Dr. Johnson. I hope they also have the experience in doing spinal taps.

When I came back into the waiting room my friend asked me what he said when I came out. This is the one who is less reliable and I could already see the wheels turning as to how she was going to get out of this one. She told me that Sunday was out of the question because that's the day she spends with her husband, and that she didn't want to drive all the way over to the Dunwoody area, couldn't J do it (my other close friend) and on and on...

I felt as though I was totally on my own if anything happened, as I don't have a car, so it seemed as though it was a pile of mishaps waiting to come tumbling down. She proceded to think of every negative scenario she could and tell it to me as I just got sadder by the minute. This was particularly hurtful given the fact that I am the type of friend that if someone needed a kidney and I was a match I'd give it. I don't care how inconvenient it might be to do it. If a friend needed it then that would happen because I'd MAKE IT HAPPEN.

On the way home I just burst into tears. This could not be happening. The solution was really very simple. Why were these people being so obstinate and not cooperating to make this happen. There really is no such thing as dumb luck. It all really comes down to each person in the chain of events doing their part to ensure that things turn out. When they don't, things don't. When they do, it works. I went home yesterday feeling like a bicycle with half a wheel, teetering on the edge of disaster.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse I got online to promote my Saturday Night Special Sale while Carmella slept in her bed next to my computer chair, and as I was posting the internet went out. Although I had promoted in many threads on Etsy before it went out I worried that somebody might convo me about a revised invoice and that because I couldn't get online I'd miss sales. I had increased the discount until midnight to 20% from the 10% it had been the previous week. I called AT+T and found out on their recording that there was an area-wide outage and they did not think it would be fixed until 5:00 AM. My heart sank. I went to bed and slept fitfully, then woke up with my nose stuffed and body aching. I really didn't want to get up at all except that Carmella needed to be fed and walked.

This morning after a hot shower I logged onto Etsy expectantly hoping to find that I had in fact sold something just to see the same number of shop items I had before and no convos from buyers. That pretty much answered my question as to whether the price made any difference. Apparently it doesn't. All this just added insult to injury. I guess a discount only works if they want it to begin with. Barring that, it doesn't give a seller much to work with.

Carmella went through some rough periods including a coughing fit in which it sounded almost like her lung cracked, and more of the tremors. I held her in my arms and sang that song "You Are So Beautiful", the one by Joe Cocker, until it passed. That seemed to calm her and she looked straight at me like she understood what it meant. That has now become her theme song.

It may have been God that intervened, because Carmella amazingly seemed to stabilize! Although she still has the tremors/myoclonic jerking in her right shoulder and leg, it does not seem to have gotten any worse and it is not constant. I remembered learning at some point that sleep could be stabilizing to conserve resources in the absence of the right help until that help could be found, so I've been encouraging Carmella to sleep as much as possible. She does have the neuro symptoms more consistently during sleep, but her breathing is less labored and she appears to be maintaining. Well good. It looks like we made it through the weekend. When awake she seems to be more like a normal puppy, wanting to chew on things, investigating the various rooms of the house, barking furiously at dogs and people outside my computer room window, and chasing bugs that come out under the security light when I take her out on a leash to go to the bathroom. She just loves the taste of the crab apples that are scattered all over the driveway and grabs and eats those with the speed and precision of a striking rattlesnake swallowing a mouse. Her tremors don't slow her down in those two persuits. I was amazed at the burst of energy she had tonight, and afterwards she came inside and plopped down in her bed. In just a few minutes she was out like a light.

Logical Next Steps

A friend and I went to pick up Carmella from the vet's today and to discuss where we go from here in her treatment. Dr. Norwood was still quite worried about using the Baytril despite the various points I made from the literature I'd faxed him yesterday. The thought of possible joint damage seemed burned into his brain and the topic of the difference in dose between what was done in studies and in this protocol did little to change his mental block about taking that plunge.

I have my doubts that Zithromax is going to do the trick, and didn't honestly think he'd just give me the Baytril to take home with the Penecillin G to do it myself. The Zithromax still had not come in and so will probably be delivered in a day or so to my house. Although it's a broad-spectrum antibiotic it has its limitations. We will probably be revisiting this issue in a few days.

We discussed getting ahold of the neuro vet and Dr. Norwood said he thought he'd hear something tomorrow, but as we were talking a nurse entered to tell him that Dr. Johnson was on the phone right then! He left the room to get the phone and my friend and I waited with baited breath to hear the outcome. In about 10-15 minutes Dr. Norwood returned. I looked to see if the expression on his face gave any clue as to the answer but it appeared neither disappointed nor hopeful.

He filled us in on the conversation and said that the guy was on the fence about it, and understood that there were logical reasons to believe it would work, yet the fact that there had never really been a journal article written except one in '72 that was out of print now was a possible sticking point. Dr. Norwood told him that although he was not a specialist himself and that publishing was not really as big a deal to him, that to the board certified neuro vet it could be quite important, and that he must admit this was a very interesting case. He reported what he'd seen of Carmella's recovery so far with his own two eyes, and he said that although he was cautiously optimistic, there was no denying that the dog was/is showing improvement, and had really perked up in the days following the injection of NDV.

Seeing as that pad deterioration is classic for Distemper and not any other disease, and that Distemper is thought to be incurable by conventional veterinary medicine, there really was no other explanation as to why her pads had gotten so much better over the past 7 days. The antibiotics wouldn't have done it, and there were really no other factors that could be responsible other than the NDV.

Just to give all of you readers an inside look at what we're talking about I'll post before and after pictures below so you can see for yourself. Descriptions of symptoms can sometimes be open to interpretation, but pictures never lie. The difference is nothing short of dramatic, and I would venture to say, nearly miraculous!

July 22, 2008-Before NDV July 31, 2008- 7 Days After NDV
Right Front Paw Pads

July 22, 2008-Before NDV July 31, 2008-7 Days After NDV
Right Rear Paw Pads

The first picture clearly looks scaley, irritated, and crusty with overall hardening, while the second picture (the one taken after NDV was given) in both back and front paws is almost completely healed! Not only do they look better, but they are nice and soft again to the touch.

Dr. Johnson told Dr. Norwood to send over her complete medical records and he'd think about it once he'd looked them over. He has not seen these pictures, by the way; only heard Dr. Norwood's observations over the phone of the improvements in her pads, and her improved liveliness, improved apetite, etc.

When the vet tech brought Carmella to me she was very elated and wiggled her skinny body, tail and all, raised up on her hind legs and licked my face. My friend was petting her and Carmella could not contain herself from licking her too. She was so happy to be going home. I gave her a big hug and smoothed back her ears and top of her head. She seemed to be drinking it all in as though suddenly her senses were alive once more, like she'd been asleep for most of her young life, and now was discovering the world of sight, touch, and sound for the very first time.

Once home, she settled into my lap, and then chewed one of her favorite rawhide bones with bacon inside, consuming it within about 15 ninutes.

There was a spring in her step that I had never seen before, and she was riveted on me, and on every new curiosity in the environment she encountered (such as the wheel cavity of my friend's car).


or the crabapples that lay strewn across the driveway, which she attempted to down immediately every chance she got.

She has even grown a little taller in the past week she's been away, and I can really see what looks like German Shepherd and red Doberman showing now, more so than ever before. She is beginning to lose that little dog look and get a little longer as well as taller. Carmella has only gained a half a pound, but she is definitely bigger in size now. You can still see what appears to be Whippet, Greyhound, and/or Basenji, but the other two breeds I believe are in there are now becoming more prominent than they were when I first got her; as though her genetics are staging a competition among the various breeds to see which will win out. Her toes on both front feet seem to have grown disproportionately long, adding to her rather unusual brand of cuteness.

The next several days will be very important in determining where we go from here. I am really crossing my fingers that Dr. Johnson agrees to do the Central Nervous System procedure, and that we can get control of the pneumonia once and for all.

Carmella is on the mend, but it is crucial that she get the procedure as soon as possible, as she still seems to be experiencing some balance problems intermittantly, and clumsiness going up and down steps. Dr. Norwood wondered whether that might just be weakness, but both my friend and I definitely saw her stumble and get off-balance a few times after she came home.

My 10% sale has one more day left. If you usually give to animal shelters keep in mind that these places have alot more resources than the owners of these sick puppies do, and your money may or may not go to pay for the healthcare of the dogs. In this case you are helping a dog in need directly, not paying salaries, or for brochures, and in return you get a great piece of jewelry! Please make this a success so that Carmella can get all the help she needs. She deserves the chance at a normal life.
http://Giftbearer.etsy.com

The ad slots on my blog will continue to be for sale at $5.00 apiece. Be sure to get some PR by going to the bottom of the list that says "Are You In My Top Spots?" and clicking on the little heart so that you can sign up.

The First Signs Of Improvement!

You are not going to want to miss this update! Carmella showed her first noticeable signs of improvement in only two days after the administration of the Newcastle's Virus Vaccine protocol!

I spoke with the vet tech this morning and he informed me that the deteriorating pads of her feet were markedly better! The office is only open half a day on Saturday but I was dying to find out how she was doing, and this news really lets me know that I'm on the right track.

If anyone assumes Distemper is hopeless then you might just have to revise your thinking because this works!

Now all we have to do is find a neuro vet to deliver the Newcastle's Disease Vaccine to the Central Nervous System to get rid of any remaining virus in that area, and finish up the twice a day antibiotic injections for her pneumonia.

Dr. Sears is due back from his trip to California tomorrow, and I hope, will make phone contact with Dr. Norwood on Monday.

Dr. Norwood is going to try to get a committment from a vet at a practice he knows about on the other side of town and I hope the way will be paved for us to finish the neuro part of this as early in the week as possible.

The longer these consults take to agree to do the procedure the more she runs the risk of neurologicasl disease-progression, as the serum given by IV does not cross the blood-brain barrier.

Think of the brain and spinal chord as a sealed chamber. Distemper accessed that space via the lungs, but it appears it doesn't work the other way around when treating the body.

It is neurological disease-progression that eventually kills the dog in late stage distemper. That's why it is so vitally important that this second part of the protocol be done as soon as we can get it scheduled. The vet doing it must be skilled in doing spinal taps because the delivery of the substance is done through an LP needle at the base of the skull in an area dangerously close to the spinal chord. If that spinal chord is nicked it can result in paralysis or worse.

Carmella will be placed under general anesthesia, and some spinal fluid will be withdrawn to be analyzed for the level of virus found in it, then the Newcastle Vaccine substance is injected via the same route. This should rid her of any remaining virus threatening her Central Nervous System. She could have seizures or temporary paralysis afterwards, not as a reaction to the procedure, but a delayed reaction to whatever the virus has already done. She will need to be watched closely during the following days and given supportive care until she is stable. Once she is over that crucial period the danger will have passed and she can focus on regaining any function, strength, and weight she lost over the course of the disease while it was active.

The literature says she may have a few quirky things over a 30 day period after this procedure and then any fluctuations should settle down, then at around 50 days she will start to make gains. Her rehabilitation could take up to a year to become complete.

Be sure to check out the handcrafted jewelry in my online shop. For a full week receive 10% off on your purchases. Doing so will help pay down the bills that are piling up for Carmella's medical care. Instead of sending your money to a shelter why not help a dog directly and get a piece of wearable art in return that you will treasure for years to come. http://giftbearer.etsy.com/

Tears of Joy
(from the Carmella Collection)

Too often it is the owner who ends up cleaning up the mess the shelter created when it failed to give adequate booster vaccinations to young puppies like Carmella. I can almost guarantee you that no shelter is going to go to these lengths once the damage has been done. You can be a part of the solution while you buy quality art jewelry you can be proud of.

Cascading Pea Sprouts
(From the Carmella Collection)

Carmella's Big Day!

Well the moment of truth has finally arrived. The vet called me this afternoon after I'd brought Carmella over there this morning, and told me he was finally able to find a vet supply company that had Newcastle Disease Vaccine, LaSota Strain. I had no idea that there would be any difficulty finding or buying it, but he encountered alot of barriers along the way. Some companies would only sell it in mass quantities that he could never use up in his own practice, and many other suppliers were actually out of stock.

After much searching he was able to locate one good source and they are going to overnight ship it to him to arrive tomorrow morning. It is arriving none too soon, as the rate of her decline is making this an emergency situation very fast.



Carmella didn't eat very well this morning, leaving half a can of dogfood sitting in her bowl, and still would only drink yogurt juice. Before taking a taxi to the vet's I gave her as much yogurt juice as I could, and took her outside to go to the bathroom. The cab company now charges $5.00 if you don't have your dog in a cage and $1.00 additional if it is caged. I put one of her pillows in there so that she would be comfortable, and she crawled right into it on her own.

Once at the vet's this morning I spoke with a man in the waiting room who was there to have his grey and white Schitzu groomed and we talked for awhile as we waited for the receptionist. He mentioned to me that his wife had once bought a dog from a pet shop that was sick and he insisted she take it back and get her money back although she was attached to it. She finally relented although she really didn't want to, and they did return her money. I told him that the shelter I got Carmella from had you sign a disclaimer, but that even if they hadn't I could never return her as if she was a defective product from a store. I picked her out from a long list of dogs I'd seen both online and at various shelters after several months of being extremely picky. When I found her, that was the dog I wanted, there was no doubt about it, and it would take a thousand armies to tear us apart. I found myself wanting to ask him if he would trade in his wife or his child for a new model the first time they got really sick. His story left me feeling very uneasy, as I knew it was a sign of the times. I looked at Carmella in her carrier and thought "No way would I ever do that to you". She looked back at me and I could tell she knew it too. This dog would follow me to hell and back and I am prepared to return the favor. If that made me a relic, I thought, then so be it. We are all going to be old and get sick one day, and I would hope that when that time comes all of us will have somebody by our side willing to do whatever is necessary, and I am a strong believer that we help create the world we will one day have to live in, so we'd best make it a compassionate one.




After about 15 minutes a nurse came out and called me to bring Carmella into a room. She asked me how she was doing and I filled her in on the sudden hardening of her pads last night and her reduction in apetite this morning. She had been the first one in that office I'd spoken with on the phone before the first visit and remembered my saying that Carmella looked like a Dingo, and she commented on that again, saying how extremely cute she was. I told her I hoped that Dr. Norwood had the serum and was ready to treat her because I was really worried with the developments of the night before that she would suffer neurological damage. Time was ticking away on my beautiful puppy's life, each minute lost, like a leaf of lettuce being peeled away, leaving a bare and vulnerable center which was her life force. The nurse looked at me from behind black-rimmed glasses and I thought I saw a slight tearing of her eyes, fleeting, but nevertheless very real and very human. I knew that she would take extra special care of my best buddy, as she saw in her what I do; that majestic spirit, that awe-inspiring presence like a tamed wild animal which made it impossible to resist her.

The nurse told me that Carmella was the first dog with Distemper they'd ever had in their practice and that she'd heard about it but had never seen if first-hand until now. She told me that some time ago several shelters had been shut down after an outbreak was reported on the news, but they seemed to be different ones than the one Carmella came from. Even so, it just goes to show that this disease clearly has not been eradicated in this country.

I wonder whether dogs are getting it from wild animals displaced by the destruction of the forest. I remember recently reading about a breed not yet recognized by the American Kennel Club called the Carolina Dog which is thought to be related to the Dingo and wonder now if maybe some Dingoes were released or got loose after having been brought over from Australia. If they'd mixed with domestic dogs then there is an off chance that Carmella could actually be mixed with Dingo, although how recently that would have been in the bloodline is a mystery to me. For that matter I guess someone with a taste for exotic pets could have brought one over recently (I hear you can order just about anything over the internet these days if you can get it cleared through customs), a dog like that could have bred with a domesticated dog. If one became a stray and was not current on their vaccines the puppies may not have inherited any immunity from the mother and contracted the disease or got it from the mother (already infected). Who knows? In any case it sounds plausible to me given the current state of our environment. If bears and wolves show up in suburbia why not Dingos or half-breed Dingos? One has to wonder where these diseases re-emerge from after they were assumed to be almost non-existant in the US nowadays.

After returning home I immediately got online and checked to see whether Dr. Sears had received the message and my vet's phone number to call him. but found out later from Dr. Norwood that he had still not called.

Upon speaking with my vet by phone we decided that Carmella should stay for 7 days in which time all the intensive treatment could be completed, she could be observed closely for any adverse effects, and have medical intervention close at hand just in case it should be needed. This made good sense since I don't have a car and there is only one person I know who could take me over there in the evenings after work, but nobody in the morning, as she will need 2 antibiotic shots a day to fully clear up the pneumonia after receiving the Newcastle's Disease Virus Vaccine I.V. and spinal tap procedure injecting the second dose into the Central nervous system to be sure all traces of Distemper virus are eradicated from brain and spinal chord.

The doctor advised me that because the serum he was using was bird-based rather than dog-based there could be some risks associated with that, but admitted he had really no way fast enough to find a donor dog in the time-frame Carmella would need, so we would have to proceed with the pre-made serum. At this point we have nothing to lose because left untreated she would surely die. I had hoped Dr. Sears would have been able to contact Dr. Norwood in time to send him the dog-based stuff, but with Carmella's recent disease-progression that one or two days might be too long to wait.

After our conversation on the phone, Dr. Norwood faxed me copies of Carmella's test results in case Dr. Sears got in contact with the guy working with him (Daveyo) before he called him.

Then I checked back with Daveyo on the two Distemper messageboards and found that he'd gotten back to me with some more instructions and information about what to expect in the days following the treatment, based on Carmella's current condition.

He said that it is very possible that after both initial shots Carmella might start having seizures or become paralyzed. The first 48 hours after the treatment the immune system goes through a storm, killing the Distemper virus. Soon after, a delayed reaction of the damage that was ensuing becomes fully apparent. This could take about 50 days to start resolving. He assured me that if she does suffer the paralysis it was easier to heal than if she had seizures and not to panic. This sounds very similar to what I was told about my own autoimmune disease protocol (the worstening before it gets better due to a Herxheimer reaction; temporary exascerbation of symptoms while the bacteria is flushed through the tissues and out of the body).

In this case we are dealing with a virus rather than bacteria, but I suspect the same thing is happening when shedding the virus as it's killed. It could be that the toxins released on Distemper's way out of the dog result in increased inflammation of the tissues and organs, and that accounts for the increase in symptoms indicative of which areas had been affected before eradication.

Since my vet has not done this before he told me he'd do his best and do everything in his power but that he couldn't guarantee anything.

I cannot say that I'm not worried, but Carmella's silent strength is part of what endeared me to her in the first place and it is that strength that will give her the ability to beat this virus. She knows that I'm not going to give up on her and that she's home and I'm not going anywhere.

If I have to work with her every day for the next year to get her functioning back to normal, I'm prepared to do that, but she may surprise us all and bounce back alot sooner.

There is something about her that doesn't quit, determined to live to see the day that she can jump into my arms (until she's too big), run, and play, and chew on her toys, chase a ball and bring it back, eat voraciously, and enjoy a long drink of water, to breathe in the warm summer air without coughing or congestion, to learn tricks, and go for long walks, basking in the sun, her reddish-brown fur healthy and glistening.