Going Nationwide

To recap for any new readers who are just joining me, my puppy, Carmella, who I adopted from a local animal shelter has Distemper and has been cured of the virus in the body with Newcastle Disease Virus Vaccine, the LaSota strain (manufactured by Merial), a discovery made by Alson, Sears, DVM, but still needs an injection into the spinal canal in order to kill the virus in the brain and Central Nervous System. The second injection must be done directly into the spinal canal because NDV does not cross the blood-brain barrier from the body. While searching for a vet with the experience and willingness to work in the area called the Foramen Magnum (the area where spinal taps are done at the base of the skull), Carmella has developed myoclonic jerking, some incoordination in balance, and stiffness in her right front leg. This has gotten worse over the past month.

Each vet that refuses her the procedure who is capable of performing it allows the virus to continue to do further damage to the brain, and each day she waits brings her a little closer to paralysis, grand mal seizures, and ultimately, death.

One of the excuses used by a number of the vets I've asked has been that this is still "experimental", yet so far none are jumping on the bandwagon to advocate clinical trials and further study, even though there is quite alot of empirical evidence that it works. I would love it if some vet would read this blog and decide to go ahead and help her out of the kindness of his/her heart in spite of all this, but so far that hasn't happened.

In one of my previous posts, I outlined some of the National Veterinary Ethics Board regulations, and it is pretty clear that vets who may be afraid to try this for fear of liability have really nothing to fear, as the regulations would actually support them in doing it, thus saving a dog's life, removing suffering, and advancing the current understanding of a possible cure for Distemper.

The continued failure on the part of Veterinary Medicine to move forward on this discovery becomes a vicious cycle in which the treatment just sits there tabled until somebody takes up the mantle and does what is necessary to officially legitimize it. This leaves dogs like Carmella at a stalemate much as humans with deadly and thought to be incurable diseases are left out of luck when stem cell research is held up because of ominous, albeit unfounded fears and religeous beliefs regarding the "tampering" with nature or "God's plan".

Then there is the agenda of Big Pharma in which a potential cure for any disease threatens to make obsolete current "supportive care" drugs and procedures. Nevertheless, when a cure is on the horizon man is foolhardy to turn a blind eye to it. Even from a religeous standpoint, I don't believe that a loving God would provide us the brains and creativity to come up with this new science and not intend for us to make use of it. That just wouldn't make sense.

After sending out press releases to all local TV stations and to the Atlanta Journal and Constitution I decided this weekend not to wait any longer to hear back from them, but to go to the National media, so I sent out more of these to Frontline, Dateline, and asked for the story submission process for 20/20. The latter's webform was a little unclear as to how stories are submitted or decided upon, and it only allowed 500 characters. My press release was a little more than that, so I'll have to get more information as to where to send it in full so that they aren't left saying, "Huh? Where's the rest of the story."

If the local news picks this up that's fine too, but there's no guarantee that the one vet who finally steps up and volunteers to do this will even be located in Atlanta or in its surrounding suburbs, so I have to be prepared to look further than my own backyard.

Considering that I've probably asked 20 or 30 now in all and still none has agreed to it, the job may take someone so rare that that vet could be located anywhere in the US.

Although stories might not be harvested on the weekend, at least these first National news requests will be waiting for their producers and investigative reporters come Monday morning and they can hit the ground running. I just hope it will spark the interest of the right people and that I'll start getting phone calls next week sometime, as the number of news contacts made reaches critical mass. Maybe the more news agencies who receive it, the bigger it's chance of getting on the AP wire or sent around to various affilliates. I still need to look into how to submit my press release directly to the AP wire, as that will make this notification process alot easier.

If any of you out there reading work for a news media agency; print, TV, online, or radio, please see what you can do to have some influence and ask that they cover Carmella's story. If you would like to have me interviewed by your agency please leave a comment on my blog about how I can get in touch with you and I'll get you or the person doing the story my contact information. If you have an Etsy account and would like to contact me more privately about news coverage, their convo system is another way you can reach me and I can make contact with you or your "people".

This morning Carmella woke up as usual wanting to go out and go to the bathroom, and after she'd done that I let her lie on my bed for awhile. Amazingly she sayed there pretty well-behaved for about a half an hour before she got restless again and wanted to chew things, jump down onto the floor and get into mischief. I'm crossing my fingers that she will get over her restlessness and urge to chew up everything in her path. It was really nice to just have her curl up and keep me company while I looked through my supply catalogues and rested and watched TV. I woke up very fatigued this morning. I think my own autoimmune disease may be flaring up somewhat, so I had to kind of take it easy today. Just making myself lunch seemed like alot of work. I've had to take something for pain two nights in a row.

I plan on watching some comedy on TV tonight and to try to get a good night's sleep.

Carmella's paw seemed to be curling under this evening when I checked on her in addition to the usual jerking.

Earlier today I worked on training her for awhile. She is particularly good at fetching things I throw for her and is becoming more and more consistent in bringing them back each time. She still tries to chew on my pants leg but seems to be gradually doing that less. When I tell her to sit or to lie down she often stops at that moment.

I'm looking forward to ordering these rubber stamps I'm having custom-made, but I have so many designs that I've adapted to black and white that it might take a few days next week for the woman I'm communicating with to finish the proofs. Some of them will be round and some square or rectangular. I was looking through some supply catalogues for some very fine gemstone beads and high-end cabs to go with this new line. There's a bead show next Friday that I'm planning to go to to look for some of that stuff in-person and I also want to pick out some really nice oxidized chain for the necklaces and maybe bracelets.

Many thanks to all who have donated to Carmella, bought an ad here, and to the recent buyer who purchased my "Click Beetle" bracelet, and those who have posted supportive comments on my blog.

If you would like to help Carmella and haven't had the chance yet please use the donation button on the upper right of my blog, or purchase an ad in my "Top Spots" further down my sidebar, or you can start your holiday shopping early and purchase something from my Etsy store. Your help will allow me to pay down Carmella's vet bill more quickly and will help greatly if I end up having to take her out of town to get her treated.

http://Giftbearer.etsy.com/

Carmella Still Waits for Medical Procedure

Today was down, then up, and then down again. I decided to try Dr. Brantly in one last attempt to appeal to his sense of social responsability, but it turned out he had little, relaying through his receptionist that he would never feel comfortable injecting Newcastle vaccine into the spinal canal (apparently even if not doing so was going to end up killing her). He'd come closest of any of the ones I'd asked, but it seemed as though his initial mindset only got increasingly closed as he ruminated about all the "what ifs". The trouble is he had no alternatives to offer, so who was he to be dead set against this method if it was her only hope. I suspect, knowing this, he offered up a lead at the University of Florida Veterinary clinic, saying maybe they'd attempt it. I made the long-distance call and gave a run-down of Carmella's situation to a woman in the small animal clinic who in turn took down mine and Dr. Sears information and said she'd have a vet call me back by around 5:00 PM. In fact it didn't take near that long. There was a bubbly woman on the other end who sounded hopeful, so I assumed it was good news. Wrong again. She reported to me that all the vets in the neuro department "don't do that", and that "they know nothing about it" stating as others had that it was "still experimental". Well, duh! Of course they'd never heard about it and of course it's "experimental" because nobody has given it a chance to be published. That's why I gave them Dr. Sears' contact information, so that they could find out about it, but did they even call or e-mail him before dismissing this treatment out of hand? No. Well, sorry, but that just doesn't pass with me. Nobody can spreak intelligently against doing something if they won't take the time to investigate it first. That just means that they want to remain ignorant. They sure didn't get their degree in veterinary medicine by having the knowledge pop into their heads by osmosis! They had to put some effort into learning the material. They'd have been kicked out for sure if they came into their professor on the day of an exam and whined, "I don't know anything about this so I'm not doing the exam." They'd have been told pretty fast to get their ass into the library and start reading, and start doing the homework and going to class, or get out; that they don't give honorary degrees in vet school. That kind of obstinate clinging to ignorance is something I cannot tolerate. When I was in college we were expected to back up our argument if we were going to disagree with something, and that's how it should be. In order to really do that one must have some leg to stand on based in logic.

Absence of data or lack of precedence does not immediately render any hypothesis invalid, and it justifies the furthering of study, not the abandonment of it.

I asked the woman on the other end of the line just how we could make this not experimental, and she was not particularly forthcoming, but finally said that they have a seperate research department and that I could speak to them. OK, now we may be getting somewhere, I thought. She did not know the number but had the operator transfer my call. Instead it was picked up by the live answering service who had just come on shift and they did not know the number to connect me to, so I'll have to see if I can find contact information on the website or call tomorrow.

We are pretty much back to square one.

I wrote Dr. Sears and let him know that this turned out another dead end, said we needed him to do conferences, and for some vet, any vet, to publish something.

If Dr. Norwood could at least publish Carmella's experience with NDV in the body that would at least provide one citation that could help legitimize the second half as I am approaching vets. You'd think the way vets are reacting that I was asking them to commit criminal acts, not an act of heroism.

In fact, it is indeed criminal to fail to act in a life-threatening circumstance. A disease is in effect a "natural disaster", but when there is something that can be done to intervene but those who are able do not, that is the true definition of negligence. Does this fact escape those who can but do nothing? Does this not bother their conscience at all?

Maybe they think Carmella is just one dog and they think it's OK to let her languish, turning their attention to those they can easily save by risking nothing, that in the grand scheme of things her life is just not that important to go out on a limb for, but the fact remains that they are aware of the gravity of the situation and they know that this will not go away and that more white matter in her brain is being sacrificed each day they look the other way, and that this dog and this owner have feelings. Would it be OK with them if doctors sat there and let this happen to their wife or child? I don't think so. Maybe they believe that being that attached to a dog is silly and overly sentimental, but if we start picking and choosing whose life is worthy and whose isn't then who is to prevent that kind of calousness from coming home to roost when the grim reaper decides to knock on our door?

These guys keep thinking worst case scenario, but what if this not only had no adverse effects, but was a glowing success, just as it was in the body? What if Carmella went on to live happily ever after once the procedure was completed? Not all "what ifs" have to be negative.

We as a society and as a species must base our lives upon possibility, not be ruled by trepidation. Fear is only useful in the short-term, but it can keep us stuck if it becomes a way by which we live our lives from cradle to grave.

I believe that The Creator did not give us a brain and the technologiy to use it in order for us to choose to ignore that which has been provided. Medical discoveries are a beautiful thing and we should embrace them, not stay trapped in a free-floating fear of progress based on what we don't know. Knowledge is power and with power comes inevitably, responsability. Maybe that is the real crux of the matter; responsability. If we remain ignorant we can always fall back on that ignorance to avoid responsability, but that is to live like Peter Pan refusing to grow up and meet the world head-on, hiding in illusions and creating walls to hide behind.

To believe that the outcome of going outside our comfort zone is always going to be bad is to have a very negative world view. Sometimes trying new things can really add something valuable to our lives. You know what they say, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." If the answer does not live within the lines then if we want it we must be willing to go outside them to get it.

After a long dry spell I made a sale! (I am getting it ready at the crack of dawn), my Click Beetle bracelet with a really cool Chevron bead in it.

Carmella was restless again today. I let her outside several times in the back yard to run around. When her legs work she is very graceful, like a jackrabbit darting through the thicket, and at times I can almost forget that she is still living with a monster inside her Central Nervous System, one which will ultimately bring her to her knees if it is not stopped in time. For just a short time I am lost in the moment as she glides like a raptor across the landscape, and then she falls, and I realize where I am.

http://Giftbearer.etsy.com

Take No Prisoners

Well 3 more vets down and still counting. One receptionist told me the vets in her practice "don't treat dogs with Distemper". The other two; one used to do spinal taps years ago when she worked at Georgia Veterinary Specialists, but is too rusty now, and the other never had given a spinal tap. The ones who don't have the skills I can deal with, it's the ones who can and won't that really have no heart and a black soul and I wonder why they are in the field if they're not willing to do everything in their power to save lives. I know first-hand what it feels like to be dying and have no medical intervention, denied the one treatment that will determine your very survival and quality of life. It is much worse than death itself. It is truly Hell on earth. Luckily I eventually got the treatment I needed to save my own life, but having had that experience there is no way that I could just stand there and allow it to happen to another living thing and be able to live with it. Some of these vets may think it's best to just "accept" that she is going to get worse and eventually die, merely keep her comfortable, and wait for the inevitable, but that would only be appropriate if this option did not exist. One cannot discover a new medical treatment and then just pretend it doesn't exist. You can't put Pandora back in the box. Perhaps on some primal psychological level it is so ingrained in the minds of vets that Distemper is the scourge of veterinary medicine that they have catalogued it in their minds as if it were the plague, and like archaeic human doctors did once apon a time, truly believe deep down that the sufferers should be isolated and shunned, allowed to die for the good of the other healthy ones in the community. Maybe they tell themselves that this is best for the dogs who are currently infected, candy-coating this idyllic euthanasia lie that is so deeply imbedded in our culture, deciding that they have the right to speak for these dogs who rely so much on humans to protect them. When humans think of putting an animal "out of its misery" they think of it as a "compassionate" final act, but this has become too easy an excuse not to hang in there and fight for these very fragile lives.
To romanticise death is a mistake. When my mother was dying of cancer in the summer of 1987 she had envisioned dying at home with all her loved-ones around her as a graceful and painless passing and so did everyone else in my extended family. My cousin, Helen, is a nurse, and her father, a doctor. That last few weeks waiting for my mother to die were anything but graceful or painless. I remember when my father called me to come stay in the house. We all thought the end was near, maybe two or three days, but in fact she lingered for 2-3 weeks. By that time the cancer had metastacised throughout her body and it was attacking her brain. I wittnessed during those last weeks her having grand mal seizures, writhing in pain, despite the heavy pain medication dripping into her arm at all times, her difficulty breathing, and drowning in her own mucus due to the shutting down of her autonomic nervous system and her swallowing. She eventually slipped into a coma and never regained consciousness (as we know it), but I can't help but wonder whether she might still have been suffering but unable to move or call out for help, locked inside a body which was a veritable time-bomb, trapped with a horrible monster that lived inside her.

My cousin Helen said to me one day while we were sitting by her bedside, "I always thought the experience of death done this way, at home was a beautiful, natural and dignified part of life, but it's not that way at all, it's horrible!" Yes, that it is. Death is horrible. Don't be sucked into all the propaganda telling you it's this merciful release from pain and suffering, because it's not. Maybe there are those rare occasions when someone dies instantly from a head-on collision in a car or airplane, or has a quick and powerful heart attack, but when one dies of a disease no matter on pain meds or not there is nothing quick and merciful about it.

Before you think about putting yout pet "to sleep" (another euphamism) read all the literature about the use of lethal injection in humans who are on Death Row. Just because you may not see any struggling from the outside looking in, don't assume for a minute that the recipient of such injection is not suffering and is merely going to sleep and then dying painlessly. Too much recently has been discovered to the contrary. Part of what's in those injections is a paralytic, which means that it renders the person or animal unable to move or respond. It has often been discovered that the part that renders the recipient unconscious does not always work or does not work before the other ingredient takes hold of the body. Imagine being fully conscious of your heart stopping and other vital organs shutting down, but unable to tell anyone or even move your pinky to let them know you are feeling each excruciating moment. There have been Death Row inmates whose executions have been stayed because of a botched job like this and they lived to report their experience. What they reported was blinding pain, the worst kind you could imagine! Several states have since re-visited legislation regarding such procedures and even challenged the current laws allowing it, posing the question as to whether it may constitute cruel and unusual punishment.
This is why vets need to stop doing this to animals. It is NOT humane! Not only is it not humane, the option to "legally" kill an animal this way opens the door for every lazy and selfish person in the world who doesn't want to spend the time or money to fix the problem an animal has. In animals this practice is completely unregulated and can be done for just about any reason. Jack Kavorkian did some heavy time for promoting this kind of thing in humans. Imposing this upon animals who cannot speak for themselves or make an informed decision of their own is an ethical problem. It is one thing if a human chooses that for him/herself, but strict regulations need to be put into place to see to it that the option is not abused and that families don't abuse their Power of Attorney to "put down" relatives who have become an emotional and financial burden to them. The methods used also need to be re-evaluated and proven not to cause suffering.

My guess is that most if not all animals if they understood this issue would choose to live rather than to die.

Animals have none of the emotional issues we humans have attached to long-term illness and disability and they live in the moment. Their lives are relatively simple compared to ours, and they only want to be loved, to eat, and to drink water, and maybe walk around the yard a little. They have no responsabilities to make money, thoughts about whether they are pulling their weight, nor do they have to take care of others.

I took lots and lots of pictures of Carmella yesterday, and made several really nice black and white photos which I'm going to have made into custom rubber stamps. I was hoping the company I was planning on purchasing from would e-mail me by the end of today but they haven't. It looks like I can't put in an order until tomorrow so that I can get started soon on my new line. The woman I got an e-mail from last week was supposed to get back to me to let me know whether the ones I sent her would take well, but still no word.

At some point I'll probably look into getting a Photopolymer plate-making kit, but I wanted to try a few this way first because it's alot less expensive.

Carmella was restless again today, pulling on my clothing and wanting to go outside and then immediately wanting to come in again. Her jerking is getting pretty severe now and she has fallen a few times already today.

I spent a long time sending out press releases to every TV news station in town. One or two came back undeliverable, one news reporter had an automated e-mail saying he was out of town until the 17th, and several sent automated e-mail responses already saying they received my correspondence and that I'd receive a response within 72 hours.

Next I'll go to National news agencies and shows like 20/20 or Dateline. I'm wondering how I'd go about submitting my press release to the AP wire. Apparently that goes out to every news agency in the country.

http://Giftbearer.etsy.com

Some Lateral Moves

It's the weekend again. That means not much will be moving that requires contacting businesses, but I did get two names of vets, one here (and one located in Florida, given to me by the woman whose dog was recently put to sleep).

I wrote the one in Florida but it seems to be an outdated e-mail address because even though I wrote directly through his website bellsouth sent it back stating this was not one of their customers. Well, another one down. It was too late yesterday to get in touch with the local vet whose name had been given me by the founder of a disability transportation rights group, and I was not able to find any website or e-mail for her. There were reviews, most of them glowingly favorable, but it appeared the last two which were left in the past one or two weeks were negative, noting that the vet did not seem herself and was letting her standards slip this month. It could be just something temporary going on in her life interfering with her work, but you can never know for sure.

All these vets I've been getting the contact info for seem iffy in one way or another. I'm not sure whether most vets are unstable/unreliable as a group or whether it's just been unlucky that the ones people have happened to have recommended just turned out to be flakey. Maybe they all start out pretty good and then burn out. I sure hope there are some solid ones out there. Carmella really needs one to come through.

I wrote Dr. Sears to let him know that so far we've been unsuccessful at getting a vet to do the procedure, and he wrote back saying he was sorry I was running into these barriers, but this is not uncommon, as most vets are afraid of it because it's not been published. I wrote him back and said that I think it may require for him to break the ice by starting to do workshops at conferences before the ball will get rolling. Hopefully he'll listen to that advice, as I truly believe that will make a difference. Vets need to hear it right from the horse's mouth and published or not, a conference is nevertheless a respectable place for vets to get their continuing education once settled into private practice. They may not seek him out to learn about this treatment but if they're already signed up for a big conference and they see this on the program they might be curious to see what he has to say. Curiosity is a good step toward integrating something new into what they consider to be useful methods.

The repairman was here most of the day yesterday. I had still had very little sleep and felt as though my brain was still asleep when I got up knowing he would be arriving soon. He got to work on some damage caused by squirrels who had decided to move their nest indoors into a corner. They had chewed their way clean through and I'd often heard them running around my attic just above my bedroom (sometimes at the wee hours of the morning, which did not help my sleep patterns any).

Carmella seemed to like him and as he got up on the stepladder to replace some wooden planks, she whined for him to come back and play with her. I had told him about her condition earlier and he jokingly told her how clumsy and uncoordinated she was, not seeming to get the connection. I think I had pointed that out once as being part of the neurological effects of the disease, but it didn't seem to register for long. Despite his joking manner the comments began to grate on me a little. When she bumped into his leg while running he asked her if she needed glasses. His somewhat insulting humor started to get old pretty fast. After all, I really love this dog, and her incoordination is not due to stupidity or some sort of inadequacy on her part. Considering what she's dealing with she gets around pretty damn well. I believe he likes her but, OK, enough ribbing already. It's kind of like telling a woman with breast cancer that she can use her bald chemo-ravaged head for a bowling ball or kidding a man with testicular cancer that now his wife will trade him in for a man "with balls". Carmella, unaware of the content behind the words wagged her tail and jumped up to lick his face. This newcomer seemed to captivate her and she accepted him as non-threatening only because I had let him in. His entrance unimpeded was a priviledge. Had he been a stranger she would have met him at the door with barking, growls, and beared teeth. Carmella generally doesn't like men coming into her territory. The man who lives next door came out into his driveway next to the fence today and was talking kind of loud and she really went off.

I ordered some molding compound today recommened by a fellow jewelry artist in preparation for the new line I'm planning and am planning out what images will work best to create molds of.

Also, I've been looking into ways to put video on my blog, and gathering ideas for which news agencies to contact with my press release.

Today was a day for putting key steps into position. Sometimes one must move sideways in order to move forward.

Carmella seemed to have slowed down on her voracious need to chew everything that passed her nose, so I let her lie on the rug of the computer room while I cooked homemade chili and spaghetti sauce for my meals over the next week so all I'd have to do then is heat them up. She seemed to lie there calmly for about a half hour but while I was paying close attention to these dishes to make sure they didn't burn I looked back at her to find that she was in the process of chewing the speaker wires to my computer and that to my horror the wires were hanging from both speakers, severed, with bits of plastic covering on the floor by her front paws. I ran in there and grabbed her but she'd bitten clean through them and the wires were not the type you could buy replacements for. They were firmly attached at the end where they connected to the back of each speaker. If my sound drivers were installed I would have been twice as furious, but the last computer technician had not reinstalled them so I've been going without sound for a long time. I may still have some older speakers that I didn't throw away and if so then maybe I won't have to buy new ones. At some point I would like to get the sound working again so that I can listen to what people are saying when I watch tutorials on techniques.

A notice came encouraging me to apply for the annual ACRE show held in Las Vegas sponsored by WholesaleCrafts.com came by e-mail. Every year I have wanted to do this show, and each year I've had to pass it up because I just don't have $1,995 or even $498.75/Month for their payment plan. I heard that lots of artists racked up at that show last year and the year before. This is one of my pet peeves (the shows with the really good customer-bases having entry fees priced so high it's inaccessible to people who don't already have lots of disposable income). I would love to see either scholarships provided or a cap put on what show organizers can charge for entry fee. Also, for years shows never charged a jurying fee, then it was a nominal one, and now it's often $50-$75 in addition to the entry fee.

I'm sorry but I just don't think judges need to be paid that much just to sit in a room and look at slides or digital photos and say, "yes, no, yes, no" or to give a score. The system has become one of exploitation of the artist and not one of looking for great talent and accepting applicants based on merit. This type of system helps the rich get richer and leaves the poor no vehicle through which to attain more capitol. If your perfect market is there but you can't even get in the door because of lack of money then that is a problem. It becomes a vicious cycle because if all you have access to are the shows with a few of your target customers and mostly browsers and those luke warm to what you have for sale, then there is a glass ceiling on your earnings. Over the past year I have not had the money at the time any really good show's entries are due, and in my part of the country there are only really a small handful of shows with good, buying customers who come back to purchase at the same ones each year.

For a time there were some options available in which the fees were $65.00 or less that still had pretty good customers. There were even some who looked for me each year intending to buy because they liked what they'd bought from me the previous year(s), but then those shows stopped being held for one reason or another and I lost those resources. Trying to get the customers from there to then buy from me online was unsuccessful and even offering a free pair of earrings with their first online purchase did not motivate them. I can only surmise that it has to do with where I live, because most people I've spoken with for whom that has worked did not live in Georgia.

Many of the galleries and neat little stores here selling hand-made art objects that once existed have since gone out of business, and the ones that remain do not seem to want to carry any more artists than their old standbys. Georgia's economy must be even worse than the National average. I know that alot of this is due to the depletion of the Federal budget, our country's money having been diverted into the war in Iraq, but Georgia seems to have been hit especially hard. I was just at the mall yesterday and even the big commercial department stores like Macy's and JC Penny looked like an abandoned ghost town. Items were in disarray, shelves were allowed to sit with big gaps in conspicuously absent inventory, and even many of the lights were left off in the afternoon. Whole lines that had been there for months had been discontinued and displays removed. Things looked disheveled and nobody was putting clothing back in its proper place. It looked as though these department stores had a bare bones crew. Even some of the vendors in the food court were closed.

The woman who lives a mile away from me tells me that Sonny Perdue, Georgia's Governor, cut a major section where she works responsible for putting disabled people back to work. There had been nobody hiring their clientele for a long time and so those employees pretty much had given up trying.

These kinds of economic changes are scary. If Government agencies are being cut to the bone, then it stands to reason that this is a hard place for an artist who makes his/her money from non-essential items to live. The ironic thing is that while selling online used to be considered a real crap-shoot, it has probably become easier for a Georgia artist to sell their wares online than it would be in a local brick and mortar store.

Taking all these variables into account my strategy is going to focus on contacts outside of Georgia through which to sell my work. I don't want to do consignment in places I can't physically travel to but I welcome outright purchases made from my Etsy store by brick and mortar stores. If you own one that you're looking to stock, please check out what I have available and consider making a purchase or placing a custom order. If you would like to test market a few pieces before placing a big order that would be relatively low-risk. Be sure to keep an eye on my shop and bookmark it to watch for my upcoming line. I believe this is going to appeal to many!

If you would like to help Carmella there are three easy ways to do that;

* Start your holiday shopping now at http://Giftbearer.etsy.com/

* Use the donation button on the upper right of my blog, or

* Buy a $5.00 ad on my blog in my "Top Spots" through Scratchback

Thank you, all of you who have already donated and/or bought ad space. Keep it up, and keep reading and commenting. Carmella and I both really appreciate your love and support.

And You Could Hear a Pin Drop...

The silence was deafening. Somebody I hadn't heard from in awhile called to say that she loved my jewelry and maybe she would buy my earrings made from violet leaves in the future, and then asked about Carmella. I told her we still hadn't found a vet to do the procedure and that I hadn't been able to get a return call from Dr. Norwood about exactly what happened regarding UGA. She didn't have much to say about that, just that she didn't "want her to suffer" and asked if she was. I said sometimes but that she plays when she isn't jerking, and that the rest of her body seems healthy. There was something ominous about her statement, and then she just went back to saying, "I really like your jewelry. I'm still working. I have to go" leaving me feeling like I'd taken a short walk off a long pier.
My mind wandered, following that thread and it seemed to go involuntarily to places I didn't want it to go. I'd pull it back but then it seemed to slip back into playing scenes that had not happened yet, as if I were in a movie and every scene was one I didn't want. I'd yell, "Cut!" and somehow it just kept going like some horrible out-of-control flashback, only it was forsight, not hindsight.

I have been known to foresee things so I worried this could be a bad premonition rather than some trick of the mind after not enough sleep, and too much stress.

I took Carmella out into the back yard and stood out there with her and she seemed not to be suffering then, even though she stumbled and fell a few times while running, but the bad scenes that kept playing in my head cast an eerie tinge juxtaposed against her seeming normalcy. It was like a broken record. The day was too quiet and being by myself didn't help matters. I told myself that Caroline's implication was ridiculous and I should take it with a grain of salt.

Nevertheless it kept intruding into my consciousness even as I played with Carmella and took more pictures of her, and I couldn't keep from crying because I knew if I ever dared entertain such a thing I'd hate myself for the rest of my life, and that led me to an even darker place I really didn't want to venture into. I resolved to close that door and take another angle. It was not up to the arm chair quarterbacks and nothing was inevitable!

It made me angry to think that this idea was so socially acceptable whereas doing this procedure that can cure an animal was not. How twisted our culture is, I thought.

If these vets really do not want animals to suffer, I thought, then why do they just sit there and refuse them lifesaving treatment? Dr. Johnson, leading a speeding frieght train of negligence could have instead ended both Carmella's and my suffering weeks ago if he had not dug his heels in and refused to help. So could UGA, Tuskegee, Dr. T, and the female neuro vet I'd contacted here in Atlanta, and so could Dr. Brantly... the caboose. This prolonged agony could all be over and Carmella and I could be on to happier times by now, rid of this dark cloud forever.

I called the vet's office in Perry, my last Ace in the hole, and hoped for the best. A young woman answered and I explained to her that I had e-mailed this vet, Dr. Westmoreland a few days ago and had not heard back. I told her that I was running out of options, so I hoped he could help us because even UGA wouldn't help. She was nice but said that the doctor left early on Fridays and that he was already gone until Monday. I asked if there was any way she could contact him before Monday so that by Monday he would have been sure to read my whole story and be familiar with the case, and she said she'd try to get a message to him. I was still crying.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I'm really upset. Nobody will help my dog and she's getting worse, and I'm running out of options here. I think my own vet is giving up on her. He's not even returning my calls after he heard the bad news from UGA."

"It's OK, I understand. Could I get your name and number and I'll see if I can reach him?"

I gave it to her, thanked her, and we got off the phone.

After that I lay down to try to rest or sleep and that seemed to help.

There was mail in the mailbox when I walked down the steep driveway to the bottom of the hill. It was mostly junk mail, but there was a letter from my pet insurance company. I really didn't think they'd cover much at all, but when I opened it I was pleasantly surprised. They reimbursed me for quite a chunk of the costs, and as I'd already written and mailed off a check for $300 toward the bill earlier today, the reimbursement check I received today meant I would get the balance paid down alot sooner than I thought. There may be more expenses to come, especially if it takes very much longer to find someone to do the procedure, so I can't sit on my laurels just yet, but this is a relief! It came at a time when I was just about at the end of my rope.

I went out with a friend briefly this evening and came home to find that Carmella had chewed a hole in the bottom of her dog bed. It was starting to get a little small for her anyway, so maybe I'll look for a larger and more durable one for her. The pillows she hasn't messed with, but the bottom of what they fit into is a rather thin plastic material.

Tomorrow I will start looking for some media sources through which to get this story out to more vets. If we can take care of that central detail then things just might start falling into place afterall.

http://Giftbearer.etsy.com/

Carmella's Long Labor Day Weekend

Just as I feared, the weekend was laborious. We did get through it, but not without some scary moments, and things are still not resolved.

Carmella's jerking has continued to get worse, and now she can no longer just jump up from a lying down position without stumbling and being very stiff.

She was beginning to jerk so hard it shook even her head, and a few times I've seen it in the crook of both back legs too.

The e-mail I sent to Dr. Norwood came back undeliverable, and I did not hear back from the two other vets I wrote last night either, although I think I had the correct e-mail address for them.

Carmella has seemed very nervous lately ever since the jerking has increased, wanting to chew on me every time I pet her, acting like a child with ADHD.

Telling her no had little effect and didn't work for long as she proceeded to try to poke holes in anything close enough to her mouth. She would have gone on that way for hours if I had not put her back in the kitchen. I could not get her to settle down as long as she was in the same room with me. I have a bruise on my left wrist from her jaws, and that was just playing, so I can imagine if she ever seriously tried to bite someone she could really do some damage! Don't let that little micro-snout she has fool you. She has some serious power in that bite! I'm thinking she might have a little bit of pit bull in her along with the other breeds she's mixed with.

Tomorrow I have to go to the Post Office to mail some earrings to a local buyer. It's a good thing she ordered when she did because my Etsy shop has been pretty slow.

Pretty soon I will need to pay some on the vet bill and I'm hoping that something among the various lines of jewelry I have available will hit the nail on the head.

I did have one very good thing happen today. When I logged onto Etsy I got a convo from the staff editor of Craft Magazine asking to use a picture of my Early Budding Vine bracelet; Northern Lights in a gallery page for an article on PMC. The editor told me that she'd put my name and Etsy shop name with it for an issue that is to come out in late October! This could bring more sales, which is just what is needed at a time like this.

Hopefully you are all still reading. I didn't post for a few days until I had something new to report because the last thing you would want to read is a mundane blog with so many others out there that are like glorified lists of household chores spoken out loud.

I am trying to come up with an idea for some sort of giveaway, and am considering getting some cute buttons made with a picture of Carmella on them and some catchy statement. If any of you can think of a good one-liner for me to use please post it in the comments section. I would like to make it something alot of people would want.

The jewelry designs I'm working on now are more minimalist and I'm exploring creative ways to make clever earwires and components that are an important part of the design; not merely a component.

Wabi Sabi

Moonlit

Tomorrow it's back to following up on UGA and the other leads. Maybe a vet will finally come through to give Carmella the help she needs. She's too great a dog to go to waste.

You too can help her by purchasing from the many styles of jewelry I have in my Etsy shop. Buy art jewelry and save a dog. It's a win/win. If you love animals then I hope you will put Giftbearer on your "To Buy From" list and stop by in the near future to collect some really unique pieces.

http://giftbearer.etsy.com/